You Know, the Irony Is Too Much

My fortune from the regional chain grocery store's Chinese deli:

"Every man is a volume if you know how to read him"

The obvious question is... which volume?

War and Peace?
Dante's Inferno?
One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish?

Or my personal favorite...
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Wait for it
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Fun with Dick and (mary) Jane

My boyfriend is going to kill me.