One Year Later

Although it pains me use a country music reference... there is a Reba McEntire song titled "For My Broken Heart". Its lyrics say to the effect that no matter how sad we are, or how painful life has become, the world is not going to stop.

The sentiment commemorates my sadness on the first anniversary of losing Camille. It has been a year since I last saw her, and had to say goodbye to her. The pain is not as acute, and I will always be extremely grateful I felt compelled to go visit her that day. Yet it still takes very little to start me crying over her.

Over the last year, there have been several times I wished I could have called her up for advice. No one else has been able to tell me the perfect balance of what I want to hear, what I NEED to hear, and the humour to make the smartest decision possible. Her pride in my progress made me all the more devoted to her.

While I wonder if there will ever be another person in my life like her… I almost don’t want there to be. Truth be told, it is probably more likely due to the fact I’ve needed to move on from the past. Last week, I went for a tarot reading. Overall, I’m still not sure if to believe the reader was just as accurate or gifted as Camille. Certainly, she told me several accurate things during the reading. And she could connect with Camille, which provided much comfort and reassurance. It was just odd, to have a different perspective after 10 years.

So today, for my goddess—I will drink a lovely coffee drink, buy a sassy book, and torment the cute young boys. When I grow up, I still hope I can be like her.