Blogger is Killing Me

Ever since we've changed to the new computer and Vista, my browser freaks out trying to sign on to Blogger. Some days it resolves itself and will cooperate if I come back to it later. Today it just wants to make me (further) neurotic.

One wedding down, another later tonight. Who knew the local museum of natural history was the happening place for social functions? We went to a wedding there in July, one this month, and have been there for a couple of other functions.

Met my dad's cousin from Wichita today. Kinda made my dad sad, since he's realized "there aren't a lot of us left." From my grandmother Holt's family, there were five Cropp kids. Uncle Elvis died when I was still in school. Aunt Hazel died right after I got married. Aunt Minnie died right as 2001 ended, and Gma (Ruby) died in 2003. Only Aunt Edith is left. She nor Hazel had any children. Between Elvis, Minnie, and Ruby, they have only a handful of surviving heirs. My dad is Ruby's only bio child, although she had four other stepchildren.

Most of the time, I don't feel bad for not having more children. I've never bought into the theory that you have to have children to prove you're a success in life. But after watching my dad talk to his cousin, who has eight grandchildren, and three more on the way, it makes me a bit remorseful.

All in all, it is a fleeting guilt. My parents are comparatively young, close to retirement, but not yet 60. Then after they got divorced and remarried, they've been busy working and rebuilding their home lives. Even should I have had a number of children, they were still too busy in their own lives to be a big influence.

My Seattle brother and his wife are expecting a baby mid-January. We tease my parents that even 15 years they get a new grandchild, whether they've earned it or not. Andrea jokes we really don't have to wait that long! Maybe I can rent grandchildren for them. At the rate my siblings and I are going, they won't have great grandchildren until they are 90.